Sunday, June 13, 2010


I suppose I should write considering that this child could come any minute now and then I won't be the pregnant woman anymore, but the one with a baby. So, perhaps this is one of my last postings as a pregnant woman (and until I am pregnant again), or perhaps I will find the energy to write again.

Horrible night last night. I have a feeling his arrival is imminent and last night I was tossing and turning and feeling cramps. Added to this, I have a bad cold and so had to swap sides all night so I could breathe. Added to this, I am coughing a lot and read somewhere that coughing can start labor! So, I am trying to cough in a subdued manner. Bizarrely, the last two nights I have woken up many times to the sound of my own moaning in my sleep! Very strange. I think I go into some kind of mini-labor at night but then wake up and it goes away.

All this to say, I feel like crap. I get why women talk about these last few days/weeks as some of the most difficult. Maybe not as difficult as those first months for me (the horror), but hard in a different way. Right now, he is technically due in 11 days (the 24th), however I am thinking that around the 21st/22nd, if he hasn't come by then, I will try and kick start it. I plan to walk a lot and possibly drink castor oil to get labor going. I am not that worried about going a week past my due date, but anything more will make me nervous as I do not want to get induced.

Now that I am sick I keep telling the little guy to WAIT. But last night in my dreamless, moaning state, I was convinced he was coming. It's a strange place to be. I know all women have gone through these last few weeks always vigilant to the signs of labor...

I mostly just feel rotten. Tired. Heavy. Precarious.

And sometimes I get freaked out at the thought of my life never being the same again. There was me. Now there is me and another person forever linked. It's different than a romantic relationship, this one is indelible. And I worry about ever being spontaneous again. About how I will logistically operate in the world now.

And I also worry about the baby being born healthy and those initial few weeks....

Anyway. It's a train that has left the station. As I sit here and write I feel cramps again...

No poetic words. My life is about to get real. No longer a girl. Time to be a woman.

He will come when he is ready. When our bodies align. When the timing is right.

Until then, I will moan about feeling all kinds of strange things.

1 comment:

  1. hey Mammidion,

    Just wanted to let you know that I've been checking your blog with baited breath for the past couple of days. Whenever you don't write, I assume you popped out Falafel (who should be more like 2 hefty lafas by now ;) )

    Anyways, keep on writing every day if you can, just to let us know that you haven't had the baby.

    Also, after the big day comes and goes, could you describe your labour and the approach of medical staff to you during labour?

    I really enjoy being able to read about your experiences in real time (as opposed to me going to a pregnancy blog from two years ago)

    Keep up the good work and best of luck on D day!
    Natalie from Calgary (9 weeks preggo today and feeling mostly like crap)